Guilt
by ciaddict
Summary: One shot. Added scenes to Amends


GUILT

**GUILT**

_Author's note: I do not own any Law and Order Criminal Intent characters, nor do I own any characters from Law and Order who might show up. Dick Wolf, of course, owns them and has done quite well by them.  
_

_This story is set during Amends and is Teresa Quinn's POV._

The visit that every policeman's wife fears came at 2:30 AM. Theresa Quinn was awakened by the doorbell ringing, followed by a firm knock on the door. She had just dozed off, having talked to her husband Kevin around 2:00. He was a detective and was guarding a witness to a gang shooting. Theresa opened the front door and she knew instantly. There was only one reason that Kevin's captain, John Robinson, and two uniformed police officers would be at her door. Her knees buckled and Officers Johna Jones and Harlana Simmons caught her on either side.

Captain Robinson's voice seemed to be coming through a long tunnel. Theresa tried to comprehend what he was saying. Kevin had been shot and was in the emergency room. Officer Simmons would stay with her son while he and Officer Jones escorted her to the hospital. Theresa felt like she was moving through a fog as she went to her bedroom and changed into pants and shirt.

She stared out the window of the squad car on the way to the hospital and remembered her last conversation with Kevin. Their son wanted to see "Spiderman" and she was worried that he was too young for a PG-13 movie. Kevin laughed at her and called her overprotective. He promised to watch the movie with Tommy on his day off.

When they arrived at the hospital, her worst fears were realized when they were met by the Chief of Detectives and a doctor. They told her that despite all the efforts of the doctors, Kevin was dead. Dead. The word echoed through her brain and she tried to make some sense of it. The Chief and Captain Robinson held her arms on either side as the doctor showed them to where Kevin lay.

"Theresa." She heard someone call her and she turned to see Alex Eames standing there. Alex raised her hand in a wave. Theresa was shocked to see her and she turned away to follow the doctor.

Kevinlay on a gurney, surrounded by equipment and discarded gauze bandages, clothing, and various tubing. And blood. It seemed there was blood everywhere. Kevin had been shot twice in the head and she barely recognized him with all the blood. But it was him. Theresa approached the gurney and reached out to touch his cheek. It was still warm. A sob rose up in her chest and the tears finally began to flow. For the second time that night, Theresa's knees buckled. This time it was Captain Robinson and the Chief who caught her.

As they gently led her out of the room and down the hallway towards the chapel, Theresa again caught sight of Alex. The guilt that always lay near the surface rose up suddenly as she remembered the night that Joe Dutton was killed and her own failure to support his grieving widow—Alex Eames. Suddenly she felt a flash of anger towards Alex. Theresa's husband had just been murdered. It wasn't fair that Alex should be there and force her to face her guilt as well. How was it possible that of all the detectives with the NYPD, that it was Alex Eames who was assigned to investigate Kevin'smurder?

A priest met her in the chapel and offered words of comfort that she couldn't remember, and prayers that seemed empty to her. As empty as her heart. What was more comforting was her husband's partner, Patrick Copa. The hospital staff had given him a scrub top to wear because his own shirt was soaked with Kevin's blood. Patrick engulfed her in his big, comforting arms. He whispered to her, "Don't you worry, Theresa. We are going to get the scum who did this. He's going to pay. I give you my word that he will pay."

Captain Robinson asked her who he should call for her, and she gave him her mother's and sister's phone numbers. They would take care of notifying everyone else. The captain and Officer Jones drove her home. Her mother and sister were already there waiting for her. They tried to get her to lay down and sleep, but she knew it was useless. Besides, Tommy would be up soon and she had to be the one to tell him about his father. She took a long, hot shower and scrubbed her skin vigorously until she was red all over.

She went to the kitchen and her sister, Carla, had coffee ready for her. The three women sat at the kitchen table in silence. Teresa's mind wandered back to her first meeting with the handsome cop who looked so sexy in his uniform. Of course, she didn't let him know how sexy she found him. She tried to be cool and aloof when her brother's friend had brought Kevin into the coffee shop where she worked. He was a young uniform police officer, partners with her brother's friend. They began stopping in every day during their shift. Then Kevin would come in on his days off if he knew that Theresa was working. It had taken months for him to work up the courage to ask her out.

From the first date, Theresa knew that Kevin was "the one". Within two years they were married. Those early years had been so happy. Theresa continued working so that they could save up money to buy a house before they started a family. She was so proud of Kevin when he passed the detective's exam. Kevin loved being a cop, he loved his "brothers", and when he was partnered with Joe Dutton as a detective they became best friends. That was when Theresa met Alex Eames, Joe's pretty wife who was a cop herself, from a family of cops. The four of them became close friends. Joe and Alex helped them move into this house when they were finally able to buy.

Then Joe Dutton had been shot and killed in the line of duty. Kevin was devastated. His anger was palpable and Theresa was glad that they arrested the murderer quickly. She hoped it would give Kevin some closure to see Joe's killer in jail, awaiting trial. It did help—some. Kevin still woke up some nights in a sweat. She knew he was having nightmares, but he refused to talk about it. He also didn't talk to her about the guilt that he felt that his partner had been killed while Kevin was so close, unable to get to him in time. But she could see it in his eyes.

However, Theresa was dealing with her own guilt. After hearing that Joe was dead, she had gone to see Alex. The sight of Alex's pale face and haunted eyes were more than Theresa could handle. She never saw Alex shed a tear; she did that only in private. But her pain and grief were raw and palpable as she moved through the days of planning the funeral and then the funeral itself. Theresa spent time with Alex, bringing food, helping to serve people who came by, holding her hand. But once the funeral was over she went back home, telling Alex to "call me if you need anything".

Theresa never called Alex. She told herself that she wanted to give her time to grieve and that Alex would call her if she needed her. But Theresa knew that Alex would never ask for anything. The truth was that every time she saw Alex's face and the pain etched there, more than compassion she felt guilt. She felt guilt because echoing through her head was the thought, "Thank God it's not Kevin."

Shortly after Joe died, Theresa found out she was pregnant. What should have been the happiest time of their life was marred by the shadow of Joe's murder and the trial of Ray Delgado. Kevin was assigned a new partner, Patrick Copa. She heard through the grapevine that Alex had returned to the job. Delgado was convicted and Kevin seemed to find some closure. When Tommy was born, Alex came to visit. She seemed happy for them as she held the newborn and cooed at him. But Theresa wondered if she resented them for moving on with their lives and starting a family, while she had buried her husband and their plans for children.

Life had gone on. Theresa quit her job when Tommy was born and she loved being a stay-at-home mother. Kevin and Patrick had become close, and she had become close to Patrick's wife, Marcie. She heard that Alex was moving up in the department. She passed the detective's exam. Theresa heard that Alex was working in Vice and the thought of tough, no-nonsense Alex dressing as a hooker made her laugh. Then she heard that Alex had moved up to the Major Case Squad and she thought how appropriate that was. Major Case was the elite of the NYPD and she knew that Alex would do well there. Theresa was happy with the life she and Kevin had built, the house they both loved, and the little boy who brought them both such joy.

Theresa was brought back to the present by the sounds of Tommy moving around in his bedroom and the bathroom. She realized with a start that the sun had come up. Tommy was yelling a question to her as he ran down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Did you talk to Dad about 'Spider……" He stopped abruptly as he came into the kitchen and saw his grandmother and aunt there with his mother. He looked at his mother and asked, "Why are Grandma and Aunt Carla here?"

Theresa realized she should have been trying to find a way to tell Tommy rather than reminiscing. She pulled a chair close to her and patted it. Tommy sat down and faced her. She took a deep breath.

"Tommy, I have to tell you something." He didn't answer, he just sat and looked at her with eyes that were so much like Kevin's. "Something terrible happened last night. Your Dad and Uncle Patrick were working, protecting someone…..and…..your Dad, well….he…he was….shot. Dad was shot, Tommy, and he died at the hospital."

Tommy didn't react for a moment. Then he suddenly stood up and yelled, "NO! My Dad is a cop! He puts bad guys away! The bad guys can't hurt my Dad!" Theresa reached for him, but wrenched out of her arms and ran back down the hall to his room. She started to get up to go after him, but her mother put a hand on her shoulder.

"Let him alone for a little while, Theresa. Let him cry. He's a little boy who needs his Mommy, but he wants to be a big strong man like his Dad. He'll be ready to talk to you after he cries."

Theresa sat back down, buried her face in her arms on the table, and cried. She cried for Kevin, for Tommy, for herself. Her mother was right. She listened at the door to Tommy's room and when his crying subsided, she went in. She sat on the bed with him and he let her hold him while they both cried some more—together.

Theresa's mother and sister took care of making calls to family and friends. The news spread through the NYPD family quickly. The first person to show up at her house was Marcie Copa. She hugged Theresa tightly and then went to work with Theresa's mother and sister, preparing coffee and snacks for people dropping by to offer condolences. Before long the house was full of people; friends, neighbors, relatives, and of course cops and their wives.

Alex showed up with her partner, Robert Goren. Theresa had never met the big detective before, but she had heard rumors about him and his unusual tactics. He was so large, it was incongruous to see tiny Alex with him. Goren went into another room to talk to Patrick, while Alex sat with Theresa on the couch. After Carla brought Alex a cup of coffee, she began to ask Theresa if she knew of any problems Patrick was having or if there had been any threats. But, as she explained, if there had been any he wouldn't have told her about it. Patrick knew Theresa worried about him and he never told her anything about his work that would add to her worries. Finally Theresa felt she had to apologize to Alex.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Oh, it's OK, Teresa."

"No it's not." Alex would let her off the hook, but she couldn't let her do it. "When Joe died….." Alex leaned her head on her hand as Teresa continued. "I remember telling you how sorry I was. If there was anything I could do…When inside I was thinking, 'Thank God it wasn't Kevin.'" Alex nodded in understanding. Teresa confessed, "That's the reason I haven't kept in touch. I can never figure out what to say." Alex smiled sadly and reached over to gently squeeze Teresa's hand.

Alex stayed for a few more minutes, and then she and Goren left. Patrick and Marcie stayed with Theresa all day. Patrick again assured her that they would find the person who killed Kevin. He said that the entire NYPD was looking for Johnny Sang, the head of a Korean gang.

Theresa moved through the next few days in state of blessed numbness. Making arrangements for Kevin's funeral had a surreal feeling. How could she be picking out a casket, discussing music, poetry, the police escort for her Kevin? She nearly broke down when they discussed the traditional bagpipes played for all police funerals. Kevin played the bagpipes and he had played for other officers' funerals. But she held it together. She needed to be strong for Tommy.

The day before the funeral, Patrick stopped by to tell her that they had picked up Sang. He was on his way to One Police Plaza for a lineup. He told her that they had done a "perp walk" when he was brought in. Perp walks were officially banned these days, but for Kevin's killer they made an exception. She hoped she would feel some relief at the news, but she all she felt was empty.

Later that evening, the Chief of Detectives arrived at her house. He explained to Theresa that although Detective Copa had positively identified Sang as the shooter, the ID was tainted and they had to release Sang. Theresa tried to understand, but she couldn't seem to follow his words.

"What do you mean, Patrick's ID was tainted? Tainted how?"

The Chief said, "Detective Goren felt Copa had a vision problem that would have prevented him from seeing the shooter clearly."

"Vision problem? Is something wrong with Patrick's vision?" Theresa felt like her brain was in a fog; this just didn't make sense. She and Kevin had spent a lot of time with Patrick and Marcie. Wouldn't they have noticed if he had any vision problems?

"Maybe, maybe not. The department will be looking into it. But, I'll tell you this, Mrs. Quinn. If an NYPD detective says he saw Sang shoot his partner, that's good enough for me. This isn't the first time that Goren has caused problems with a case and I'll be watching him carefully from here on in. As far as I'm concerned he's a whack job who has no business on the NYPD, let alone in Major Case."

"Wh….what about Alex? Does she think Sang did it?" Theresa's voice was almost a whisper.

"Detective Eames is standing with her partner—for now. Look, you have my word. We are not going to let a cop killer walk away. If Copa says Sang did this, we will find a way to get him."

The Chief stayed a few more minutes before excusing himself and leaving. As he went out the door, Theresa noticed Tommy standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She wondered how long he had been standing there, how much of what the Chief said he had heard. But before she could say anything, Tommy silently turned and went to his room.

It had rained the day before, but the morning of the funeral was clear and beautiful. Theresa continued to move through the fog of numbness that allowed her to function, to talk to people. Tommy stood next to her at the funeral, with her family on the other side of him. Kevin's mother and family were on her left. The tears of his mother did not move her, but Tommy's stoicism almost was her undoing. But what finally caused her to break down was the bagpipe. She remembered Kevin practicing and the funerals he had played for, as the melancholy strains of "Amazing Grace" began.

Tears began to slide down her cheeks, slowly at first. By the time the song ended, Theresa was sobbing openly. Patrick and Marcie Copa were standing behind her and Patrick moved up to put his arms around her. He held her as she cried and shook. She could feel people patting her back; her mother, her sister, Marcie. Finally her tears subsided and she turned to find Tommy, to see if he had been upset by her outburst. Tommy was watching her with solemn eyes, clutching Kevin's badge to his chest. Without a word, Tommy walked over and took hold of her hand. Theresa leaned down and kissed the top of his head, and then they walked slowly to the waiting car.

"Sea of blue". She had heard the words, had seen it at other police funerals, and now she saw it in her own home. So many cops, all in dress uniforms, milling around the house. They came to hug her, speak words of comfort, assure her that the NYPD would not rest until Kevin's killer was arrested. She saw Alex standing alone, looking at a picture of the four of them; Kevin and Theresa, Joe and Alex. Theresa looked around and didn't see Detective Goren in the house. She had seen him at the funeral and she was glad he had the decency not to speak to her or come into her home. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Patrick about what had happened the day before with the line-up. But like the Chief, if Patrick said that Sang killed Kevin, that was all she needed to know. There was a small knot of anger that began when the Chief had explained Goren's interference and it was slowly growing.

She went over to Alex and they talked about the picture, the day it was taken. Theresa talked about Kevin playing the bagpipes and Alex hugged her when her tears began to flow again.

"Theresa, you'll get through this. I did."

Theresa whispered, "Is it true your partner made them release that bastard?"

Alex sighed and looked away for a moment. Then she put her arm around Theresa's shoulders and led her to the couch. They sat down and Alex turned to face her.

"Theresa, I want you to understand that we had no choice but to let Sang go. Copa's ID was bad. There is no way he saw Sang. Maybe he thinks he saw him, but I'm telling you that there is no way he could have. Bobby only pointed out something that any smart defense attorney would have picked up on. It would have been worse to have that come out in a trial and have Sang acquitted. This way we can still charge him if we find other evidence."

"So, you do think Sang did this?" she asked.

"I don't know. But I promise you this. Bobby and I, we won't stop until we find whoever it was that killed Kevin. If it was Sang, we'll find the evidence that will put him away. But if it was someone else, we are going to find him."

"Patrick wouldn't lie, Alex. Not about who shot Kevin."

"Maybe he didn't lie. Maybe he was just saying what he wanted to believe was true. But, Theresa, Copa's ID is no good and that's all there is to it."

Theresa looked at Alex for several long moments, trying to process this information. Finally she nodded her head. Alex hugged her and told her that she had to go, but she would be calling to check on her and to keep her updated on the investigation.

After Alex left, Mike Logan introduced himself. He was another detective she had heard rumors about but had never met. She remembered Kevin, Joe, and Alex talking about how he punched a city councilman. They all thought he was a hero, but agreed that his career was probably over. She heard that he was transferred to Staten Island. There hadn't been much gossip about him over the years until two years ago when he was transferred to the Major Case Squad. Kevin and Patrick both agreed Logan had paid a heavy price for his outburst and were glad to hear that he had made it off of Staten Island. Seeing him for the first time she understood the other rumors she had heard about Mike Logan, the ones about what a ladies man he was. He was certainly as handsome as she had heard. He was tall; not as big as Robert Goren, but definitely over six feet. His dark good looks didn't seem to be diminishing with age. His eyes were somber as he looked down at her and shook her hand, covering her hand with both of his.

"Mrs. Quinn, I'm Mike Logan. I'm very sorry for your loss. I never met your husband, but I heard that he was a good cop."

"Thank you, Mike."

"I…uh….I know how hard this is for you. And…I…well, I understand how Patrick Copa is feeling." He let go of her hand and looked down at the floor, then back up at her, clearly uncomfortable. "I had two partners that got shot, and one of them died. I know how badly Copa wants to get the guy who did this. But, uh, Goren and Eames…they….um….they're good at what they do. They'll get this guy, whoever it is."

Theresa smiled sadly. "Thank you, Mike. I really appreciate it. That means a lot, coming from someone who knows what its like."

Logan nodded at her and moved off. She saw him later, talking to Patrick. Theresa was tired and wished she could take a nap, but the house was still full of people. Carla brought her a plate of food and ordered her to sit down and eat. Theresa looked around for Tommy, but Carla told her that he had been outside for quite while riding his skateboard. Theresa settled into a large armchair with her plate of food. She picked at the food, but didn't eat very much. She gave up trying to mingle and simply stayed in her chair and let people come to her.

As the afternoon wore on, the guests dwindled, each of them hugging her and telling her to call if she needed anything. She remembered again saying those words to Alex nine years earlier. She knew that she would not call any of these people any more than Alex had. Her mother-in-law came to tell her goodbye and they hugged tightly for several minutes. Theresa thought it was easier to bear her own grief than to see how devastated Kevin's mother was. She thought of Tommy; she couldn't imagine losing her only child. She promised herself that she would make sure Tommy spent a lot of time with his grandmother.

The Chief of Detectives and his wife spoke to her before leaving. Captain Ross of the Major Case Squad expressed his condolences and assured her that his detectives would find whoever did this. Kevin's captain and his wife sat and talked with her for a while before leaving. Finally the house emptied out. Theresa's mother, Carla, and Marcie Copa were cleaning the kitchen and putting away all the food that had been brought in. Tommy was in his room playing video games. Patrick came and sat down on the couch near her chair. He reached over and took her hand.

"Theresa, I haven't had a chance to talk to you about what happened yesterday. I want you to know that there was nothing wrong with my ID. Sang did this and I know he did it. I don't know why Goren wants to let a cop killer go, but I stand by my ID."

"Patrick," she said hesitantly. "They said…they said that you have problems with your vision. Did you really see Sang?"

He let go of her hand and brushed his hand through his hair. She saw his face harden with anger. "Goren is the one who brought up all that crap about my eyes. Thanks to him I'm on desk duty until I get my eyes checked. I may be having some problems, but I've adjusted. I can do my job! But thanks to that rat, Goren, I may lose my job and my pension. I saw what I saw, Theresa."

She reached over and squeezed his hand. "OK. If you say that Sang did this, then I believe you."

He nodded but didn't say anything. Marcie came out and said she was ready to go. They both hugged her and said they would call her. Her mother and sister left and finally Theresa was alone with Tommy. After taking a shower and putting on her pajamas, she went to Tommy's room. She lay on his bed and watched him play video games. Neither of them spoke.

Finally she told him it was getting late and to get ready for bed. When she tucked him in bed, she kissed him and asked if he wanted to talk about his dad. Tommy was holding Kevin's badge against his chest. He had carried it all day and it seemed to bring him comfort. Tommy asked her to tell him about how she met his dad. He fell asleep listening to her. Theresa went to her room and got into bed. She could still smell Kevin's scent on his pillow. She rolled onto his side of the bed and buried her face in his pillow. The tears began to flow then, and she lay there long into the night, sobbing softly and hugging her husband's pillow.

The next week seemed to move in a blur. It was difficult to understand and process the events that moved so quickly. Tommy woke up almost every night crying from nightmares. Captain Robinson gave her a card for Elizabeth Olivet, a psychiatrist that he said the department would pay for her and Tommy to see. She held onto the card, but hesitated to call and make an appointment.

The news spread like wildfire through the department that Alfred Minaya had been murdered. He was a drug dealer who had testified along with Kevin in Joe Dutton's murder trial. It was Kevin's and Minaya's testimony that had convicted Ray Delgado. It was Alex who called her to tell her about Minaya. Alex also told her that he was shot in exactly the same manner that Kevin was shot. She said that they were investigating the possibility that Ray Delgado had put out a hit on Kevin and Minaya.

Theresa didn't know what to think. Was it possible that this was about Joe's murder and wasn't related to the protective detail that Kevin and Patrick had been on, after all? That Sang really wasn't responsible? She didn't hear from Patrick and couldn't bring herself to call him.

Within a few days, Alex called her with the news that Ray Delgado's son, Victor, had confessed to murdering Kevin and Alfred Minaya. He did it out of revenge for his father's conviction. Theresa was stunned. He was only nineteen years old; he had only been ten, just two years older than Tommy was now, when Joe was killed and Ray Delgado was convicted and sent to prison. All these years later, he threw away his life to avenge his father's conviction.

It wasn't Alex who called with the next revelation, one that rocked the NYPD. The Chief of Detectives came to the house to talk to Theresa. He said that Goren had reopened Joe's murder case. There was a cigarette that had been left at the crime scene. Nine years earlier, Minaya testified that it belonged to Ray Delgado, but there wasn't enough DNA to make a match. Today, however, with better tests, they were able to get enough DNA to test. It was not Ray Delgado's cigarette.

The cigarette belonged to Alfred Minaya's cousin. Minaya lied about Delgado in order to protect his cousin. Goren and Eames had tracked the cousin down and were able to get a confession. He was now a doctor; Dr. Manny Beltran. Theresa just stared at the Chief when he told her the name. She recognized that name. He was the young ER doctor who worked on Kevin the night he was shot. And he confessed to killing Joe Dutton nine years ago? After the Chief left, Theresa sat in silence trying to make some sense of this.

Minaya lied about Delgado. But, what about Kevin? He testified that he saw Delgado running away from the scene, gun in hand. It wasn't possible for him to have seen him, because Delgado wasn't there. She couldn't begin to think what that meant. Kevin couldn't have lied, could he? Would he lie about that? Why would he? He wouldn't have wanted to let a killer go free, especially not one that had murdered his partner and best friend. Did he think he had seen Delgado because Minaya said he was there? Her head was beginning to ache from the thoughts swirling around.

Then the guilt returned, even more intensely now. Not only did she fail as a friend to Alex nine years ago, now it seemed her husband had failed even more. His testimony had helped to convict an innocent man who spent the last nine years in prison. And it had allowed the real killer to go free for all these years. Her heart felt like it might burst from the guilt and the sorrow; she didn't think she could contain it all. She needed to talk to Alex. Now. Tommy was with her mother-in-law for the afternoon. So Theresa got her purse, got into her car, and drove to One Police Plaza. She couldn't do this over the phone; she needed to see Alex face to face.

As she got on the elevator and pushed the button for the eleventh floor, her courage almost failed. She considered turning around and going home. But she stayed. When the elevator doors opened, she stepped out and turned to walk down the short hallway to the bullpen. Reception had called up to the squad room that Theresa was on her way up, so Alex was watching for her.

Alex and Goren both rose when they saw her. She walked over to their desks and before either of them could say anything she blurted out, "I need to tell you both something."

Goren said softly, "Mrs. Quinn, wh…why don't we go in there?" He pointed to an interview room. She nodded and Alex took her arm and guided her to the room. Goren pulled out a chair for her, but she shook her head. She couldn't sit down. They remained standing, too, and waited for her to speak.

"I…I…want to thank you both, for finding Kevin's killer. I know that you were both under a lot of pressure to arrest Sang and I appreciate that you kept digging until you found out who really did it. And Detective Goren….I know what Patrick has been saying about you; he's telling everyone that you're a rat. I…I don't know…what to think about Patrick, about what he's done. But I know that you did your job and you found the murderer. So, I want to thank you, from Tommy and me. Thank you."

Goren looked embarrassed; he looked down at the ground and ran a hand nervously across the back of his neck.

"Mrs. Quinn…there isn't….you don't need to…" he stammered.

"There is a need," she said firmly, and repeated, "Thank you."

Goren nodded and didn't say anything. Alex had not spoken during all of this. She stood and watched Theresa.

"Alex, I need to not only thank you for finding Kevin's killer, I need to tell you how sorry I am." When Alex shook her head and started to speak, Theresa cut her off. "No, please listen. I already told you how sorry I am that I didn't stay in touch with you. But I need to tell you how sorry I am for what Kevin did. I don't know why he did it; it doesn't make any sense to me. But the fact is that he identified the wrong man. He put an innocent man in prison and he let Joe's killer go free for the last nine years. I am so, so sorry that he put you through this, Alex."

Alex didn't speak for a moment. Her face had gone pale, as pale as it was nine years earlier at Joe's funeral. Her eyes filled with tears, but they did not spill over. Theresa marveled that she was still as tough today as she always had been.

Finally Alex said softly, "After a loss, people screw up." Theresa saw a look pass between Alex and her partner. Then Alex came and put her arm around Theresa. "I know how much Kevin loved Joe. And I know that he only wanted to help. He screwed up, Theresa, just like Copa did. But this time my partner was here to make sure that the truth came out, no matter how painful it might be."

Theresa and Alex hugged for a long time. She could feel Alex's big partner standing behind them, uncomfortable but not wanting to disturb them by walking out of the room. Finally, Alex drew back. She put her arm around Theresa and walked her out of the interview room and towards the elevator. As they waited for the doors to open, Alex told her, "I'm going to call you tomorrow and we will make a date for dinner. No excuses. I'm not losing touch with you this time."

Theresa hugged her and said, "No excuses. You tell me where and when and I'll be there."

The doors opened and Theresa got on the elevator. She watched Alex until the doors closed. As the elevator descended eleven floors, Theresa sighed and sagged back against the wall. Finally, the guilt she had been feeling for nine years began to lift. It was still there and it was still mixed with her grief over Kevin, but it lifted a bit. Theresa decided that as soon as she got home she would call Dr. Olivet and make an appointment for herself and Tommy. Then she would take Tommy to his favorite pizza place for dinner.

**The end**

13


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